


Fizzy Lifting Drinks

by Souliebird



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Justice League & Justice League Unlimited (Cartoons)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, I Don't Even Know, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 06:41:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4169826
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Souliebird/pseuds/Souliebird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fact his brothers were calm among the panic of the Watchtower should have signaled to Damian that everything would be just fine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fizzy Lifting Drinks

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know, inspired by the song 'Safe & Sound' by Capital Cities and that I stick JayTim into everything. That is my excuse.

Damian looked around the crowded room in slight amazement, and a lot of worry. He had never seen the Watchtower with this many people in it at once. So many people were talking at once and it made his ears hurt, chattering away while they waited for the final members of the League to arrive. There was tension in the air, almost a panic, and Damian was beginning to succumb to it; his fingers were tapping restlessly against his leg.

How couldn't he be nervous? 

The Earth had been invaded by alien parasites. While the parasites just sat on the back of people's neck and didn't really have any crazy negative side effects while they were attached, trying to remove them or harm them instantly killed their host. They had tried every possible way to safely get rid of the parasites and nothing had worked; not magic, not trying to force them to detach themselves, not even teleporting them away. Everything killed the stupid ugly bug like creature's host, then the things moved onto their next victim quicker than Damian could blink. 

The boy known as Robin looked around the room, eyes focusing quickly on his father; who was in the middle of the crowd. He was with the rest of the Founders, minus the Flash who was running late per usual, and Damian wanted to go stand by his side. It was hard to panic when the Batman was beside him. 

But no, Grayson had dragged him over to the corner of the room, away from the crowds. He had been surprised to see Drake leaning against the wall, with Todd sitting on the floor and leaning against the younger man's legs. Todd's helmet was on the floor next to him and Drake's fingers were absently running through Todd's hair and over the back of his neck. 

Damian was used to their displays of public affection, and though he highly disagreed with the fact the were doing such things in the Watchtower, Damian was far more concerned with how relaxed the pair looked. They both looked bored. Grayson wasn't much better, because despite his neutral expression, Damian could see a smile trying to force its way out. Grayson found the whole situation amusing for some disturbing reason. 

“They've remodeled since the last time I was up here.” Todd said conversationally before Damian finally snapped and asked Grayson what was so damn funny.

“Oh, yeah,” Drake hummed, fingers still dancing over Todd's scalp. “There was this incident with Jaime and they had to redo a lot of little things. They made it a lot smoother, less bulky. I like it.” 

“It's nice.” Grayson agreed. “I should show you the updated Kitchen. It's beautiful.” Todd made an interested noise, but didn't comment, instead leaning his head back into Drake's thigh. 

“I'd rather you show me the actual kitchen. I haven't eaten in like a day. Do you know how many calories I need a day to sustain my figure? You want me up to snuff, you have to feed me.” He bumped his head hard against Drake, earning a quick smack to his head. “Feed me, Seymore!”

“How can you be thinking about food in a time like this?” Damian growled, turning to face his supposed Family with crossed arms. “The Earth is in danger and you want to stuff your face?” 

“I was to stuff more than my face.” Todd quickly replied, wiggling his eye brows suggestively. It earned another smack from Drake. 

“It's fine, Little D. Everything is under control.” Grayson said, still holding back his smile. 

“Then why is everyone panicking?” 

“Because they weren't raised by 'the world's greatest detective'.” Drake stated, while moving his hands to rest around Todd's neck, like he would start to strangle him if he said anything else that annoyed Drake. Damian hoped he did. 

“Oh yeah, the 'world's greatest detective's son found the solution by pure accident because he fell asleep on the jo- ow! Ow! Okay, I get it, ow. I'm sorry” Todd whined, pulling away from Drake's hold. 

“I didn't fall asleep!” 

“You totally fell asleep.” Grayson's smile finally broke free. “Your self neglect is literally saving the world. You should be proud. We'll get you a medal. They will sing songs about this.”

“Are you idiots saying you know how to stop those things?” Damian hissed, taking a few steps closer to them. 

“Totally.”

“Yes.”

“It's going to be fucking awesome.”

“Then why hasn't Father mentioned anything yet? Why let everyone panic?” 

“I honestly think,” Drake started slowly. “He is trying to come up with the best way to make this sound as dignified as possible as well as create some bullshit scientific reason why he tested his theory and not 'Red Robin fell asleep in the lab and knocked his drink into the cage that held the parasite and that is how we found out they die instantly when exposed to carbonation.'”

Damian stared at Drake, feeling his jaw go slack. “What?”

“They die if you pour soda on them.” Todd grinned. 

“Or dump pop rocks on them then get them wet.”

“More importantly, they don't kill anyone if they die that way. It's totally harmless to the host.” 

Damian could feel his mind spinning. They were teasing him. They had to be. That was the stupidest thing he had ever heard in his entire life, and he had heard some pretty stupid things. “..What?”

“The plan is pretty much to fill water guns with soda and go around and spray every one.” Grayson was practically bouncing at the idea and Damian shook his head. His Father would not allow that.

“Announcing it would just cause a panic, you know that, Robin. The only kink we have right now is getting everyone effected to come out into one big space so we can help them.” Drake was at least half way thinking logically. “And having them gather under something so we could dump the soda on them would cause even more panic. Though, honestly, I think shooting at them won't be much better, but they managed to convince him somehow.”

“This isn't true. You three are just teasing me.”

“I wish. As stupid as it sounds, it is what works and all we have.” 

“B already mass ordered the soda and water guns.”

“It's going to be fucking awesome.”


End file.
